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Having said that, I really like guys to have a bit of meat of them (not fat) but I don't like really skinny either. They could be the greatest friend ever, but I wouldn't date him.

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Visits to the hairdresser on a regular basis also appreciated.

Due to my role as the elder statesmen of Expat affairs, (albeit an unofficial title) the Shallow Man received the following request: "Shallow Man, I tried some of your dating tips, but really can't be bothered to stroke someone's Lion King hair, or compliment them on their appearance if I don't like how they are dressed, for me, that's a little bit....shallow? Of course, in order to make sure that the advice I provided was based on real world experiences, I sacrificed myself and actually joined several dating sites – and had a number of dates whose results I shall keep to myself while smiling at my screen. The expat herd tend to flock online (don't' say that too quickly) to the Expatica dating site which is the best place found by the Shallow Man not only to meet expats, but open minded locals as well.

Always choose to meet somewhere that will be busy and well populated.

If you live in Amsterdam IJburg, I'm afraid that you'll have to leave the Island. I would advise against going for dinner on the first date as if it doesn't work out for either of you, you're stuck for the whole evening. While on the first date, remember that if either of you is a non-native speaker of the other's language, to speak clearly and at a normal pace.

For the British, avoid local colloquialisms such as, "What a blinding place were in, innit?

" or, "I'll have some of that, I love the butchers hook of it." You'll only confuse, disturb and potentially alienate your date. Relax, be yourself and let human chemistry and/or alcohol take its course.