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On dating the cool girl

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My friends will be the first to tell you I am subtle at all and am practically an open book once you get to know me.

I’m not a Chill Girl or a Cool Girl with a slew of dirty jokes on deck, who chows down on Big Macs without worrying what it’s doing to my body, and doesn’t believe in the idea of labels because relationships don’t last, anyway.

I usually read such bestsellers on the recommendation of a good friend, who swears blind it will “change my life”.

Or at least, that’s the official party line: in reality it’s got more to do with my perverse desire to be superior and judgmental about the latest book du jour.

I’ll tell you what I am: boy crazy, obsessive, highly anxious, a tad OCD, introverted, someone who cries at romantic comedies, someone who’s susceptible to falling in love easily — especially if you have good taste in music and are emotionally unavailable — someone who “revenge-Tinders” when she gets let down by a guy (a term I coined recently after I found out I was dealing with a fuckboy and made it my mission to get back at him).

And, yes, I’m also someone who coins her own phrases, laughs at her own jokes, etc.

When you don’t act like yourself, you don’t fall for the right person, either.“Chill is what Cool would look like with a lobotomy and no hobbies,” she writes.A couple of years ago, I had just gotten out of a relationship, the end of which I blamed myself for, and I decided that I needed to change.We never ever talked about our feelings for one another, even though not having that clarity was killing me inside.Months later, we ended up having “the talk” after he said he wanted to put a label on things. Out of nowhere, I surprised myself by saying I didn’t want to be exclusive, and that I was cool with the way things were going.I dyed my hair darker, developed a “fuck it” kind of attitude, and made a bunch of new friends, the majority of whom were guys who loved to smoke weed, play video games and host ironic house parties on the weekends.